Continuation of Previous Post: The DTR

After Tim heard my message on his pager, he called right away. I asked him to meet me for lunch. He agreed.

The day happened to be Halloween. At that time I worked for a nursing home in Blaine. The staff all were in costume. I dressed as The Man in Black from the Princess Bride. There must be some significance to that costume, since I was terrified. The Man in Black hid behind a mask.

The place where I worked was right next to the Peace Arch Park in Blaine. We walked through the park in silence until I was ready to speak.

I told him about my wrestling with the Lord in the night and what I had heard Him say to me. I finished with, “I am willing to pursue this relationship to marriage, if you are.”

Tim’s response? “When does the guy get to kiss the girl?”

“Not Yet!” I exclaimed.

The first kiss happened on the beach at Semiahmoo Park sometime over the weekend.

On Monday Tim asked me to marry him. I said yes.

An aside to the proposal is what Tim had told me about his attempts at dating after he had prayed for a wife. He said, “How was I to know if the person I am talking to is going to be my wife? I met several ladies at church after I prayed that prayer. A couple of them, I am sure, think I am some kind of nut. I would ask the lady out to coffee, and say ‘I am praying for a wife. Are you the one?’” The women fled in alarm. After we were married, someone asked Tim, “How did you know Grace was the one?” “She said yes,” he answered.

During the next days, Tim and I talked and talked and talked. I felt so blessed that I could talk to him about anything, everything—that had happened in my life. I felt safe with him. He did not judge, or criticize me. He listened compassionately. On Wednesday evening I told him how safe I felt with him. Then I said, “I think I can tell you now about the rape.”

He tenderly hugged me—giving me permission to tell the story.

Suddenly, with no warning, a huge, unearthly roar poured out of me along with the words, “I HATE HIM!”

Thus began the night of my deliverance. I had been involved with deliverance ministry before, so I recognized what was happening. Tim had never experienced such a thing. I certainly did not know that I needed deliverance!  I had been walking with the Lord since 1976, twenty years, by then. Later, as Tim and I analyzed what happened that night, we saw that the Lord was cleansing the bride, me, for my marriage to Tim. There had been much abuse, and sin in my past. The Lord cleared all of that out that night. The best thing I can tell you about Tim that night is that he is the bravest man I know. He could not have been blamed if he ran away from me. But he did not. As the Lord worked through breaking all the curses that had been inflicted on me, and set me free from the guilt and sin, Tim stood steadfast.

The Lord told us what to do and how to handle each thing that come up.

By morning, we were exhausted and I had lost my voice, completely. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to speak normally again. All I had was a course, almost imperceptible, whisper.

Three times in the night the Lord told us, “Get married as soon as it is legally possible.” Those words were explicit. “As soon as legally possible.” The Lord also instructed us that Tim was not to leave my side until the marriage was complete.

Later we realized that in the ideal situation a girl goes smoothly from the protection of her father to the protection of her husband. Tim was to stand in the gap for the bride until he took the position as my husband, legally.

The next day, Thursday, we went to the courthouse to get our marriage license. I could still not talk. However, as we left the courthouse and started back across the street, with the papers we needed in our hands, I had a slight cough, my throat cleared—I could talk.

In Washington State at that time, a couple had to wait three days after getting a marriage license to get married. That made midnight Saturday night “as soon as it was legally possible”.

So now we needed to find someone who would perform the wedding ceremony.

We went first to the pastor at my church. He refused to perform the marriage. The same thing happened with Tim’s pastor.

There had been a wedding chapel in our neighborhood that had become a mobile wedding service. We contacted him. He said he would go wherever needed him to go, and he would bring the witnesses we needed with him.

We met him at midnight in the parking lot of the Best Western motel in Bellingham. We climbed in to the back of his van. True to his word, he had the witnesses with him. We all signed the papers; Tim and I were pronounced “man and wife”; we paid the man his fee, and we went home.

Most of our friends and family members reacted as you would expect, but we did have a couple of friends who were able to accept that we had done what the Lord had told us to do, and that He would honor our commitment to Him and to each other.

At the time of this writing Tim and I have been married more than 27 years. It has not all be easy—marriage never is, but God has been faithful and we are blessed—beyond measure.